When I was younger I used to have this fantasy that I would end up married to someone who loved all of the same things that I did. This imaginary person saw all the brilliance and beauty in all of my favorites... Kieslowski, Bukowski, 16 horsepower, nick cave, the shins... i could go on and on- i am in love with all things visual and musical. But not once did I ever find that person. The twits that I did date who liked one or two things that I did were seriously much too arrogant and foolish for me to appreciate that fact in the end. Assholes who listened to nothing but Johnny Cash and Social D who drank crappy beer. An old hippy guy named after a furniture store who never took off his hat because he was losing his hair. Sure, I guess someone somewhere might find those things endearing, but not me. These were things that were just too weird to look past, you know? Which is not to say that I don't love all of that music...I just didn't love the guys.
Well, the universe has played a funny joke on me. The man that I did love and ended up marrying turned out to be a person who has absolutely nothing in common with my taste in music, books or film. This might have a lot to do with our cultural differences- at least this is something that I have noticed in terms of film. I always thought that my taste was pretty average- but he finds it depressing usually. My husband loves history (but mostly of the Spain/WW2/Hitler only type stuff), is into economics, Two and a Half Men, Rocky, Rambo...oh, and the Pet Shop Boys. I am often tempted to write to the Pet Shop Boys and tell them that they truly do have a third member, only they don't know it. This man has a Barcelona jersey with 'petshopboy' printed on the back. He has every album and every single they have ever released (probably in every country), pictures with Neil Tennant, concert t-shirts... even a keychain! Before you get all creeped out, I have to say that all of these things aren't immediately apparent when you meet him so he wouldn't be mistaken for a freak fanatic- it's just that I live with him and I know these deep dark secrets. Only it's not a secret! He will tell anyone and everyone just how much he loves and appreciates their music. You gotta hand it to the guy! He is thorough in his admiration- but that goes for anything in his life, myself included.
It's just this. I have come to learn that I can appreciate the things that he loves too. I can't stand Rambo, but I have learned to like Rocky even past the toleration point. I can admit that even though Charlie Sheen is an abomination of wasted talent, his show is pretty funny at times (i mean, jon cryer pigeon-holed himself- not the other way around- only in Pretty In Pink his gear was much cooler). I will even admit that I do really enjoy some of the Pet Shop Boys songs. More than just their greatest hits. Now that I have to hear them all the time I have been exposed to more of their work. Coming from similar backgrounds, I am happy that my husband found something that was a sort of refuge for him- a positive energy force. Sometimes it just seems a little silly and juvenile to me because I haven't been that enthusiastic about anything, especially not one thing in particular, but what is music for, after all? I'm sure that all kinds of artists hope that there is someone that truly has their work in their heart and soul. Neil Tennant & Chris Lowe, I can assure you that someone does. And I'm married to him. His obsession is actually what made our relationship possible. The only reason that he knew so much English is because of his love for PSB, so I guess I have to thank them for that.
What I can't really understand is that my husband just can't get into the kind of music I love. Really, when you compare the two (in general- I have at least 10,000 songs for him to choose from) things they are like night and day. Kind of like us. One introvert, one extrovert. One man, one woman. One optimist, one pessimist. But it works. I have my work cut out for me if I want to bring him over to the dark side though.
How do you reconcile these? Sure, they are both a little sad...but it's a different color blue.
No comments:
Post a Comment